Crazy Cat Haircuts

Weezy has very long hair, and from time to time she has to get a haircut.  She fights every second of the way...She gets a pretty normal haircut.  Want to try one of these one day:

See the strange sleeping positions cats get into...

Cats just seem to be able to sleep anywhere, any time!

What is the strangest place your cat has ever fallen asleep in?  Or the strangest position?

What "gifts" or "offerings" have your pets left for you? **WARNING DEAD RAT PHOTO**

So today one of the cats killed a rat on the patio.  I had no idea they could still kill anything and that they would even have any interest in making the effort.

I really hate rodents...so this cat has now earned my respect.

An Interview with the White One

So Crackers is the mostly white cat.  She is pretty interesting looking with bright blue eyes that are crossed and she has extra toes so it looks like she has on mittens.

She is the older and crazier of the two cats that live here.  She does seem to have a lot to say, so I decided to ask her about her life.

Interviewer:
Crackers, how are you doing today?  Are you having a good day?

Crackers:
(Looks around obviously content)"Meow"

Interviewer:
Are your needs being met? Do you have enough food (I motion to the food dish)

Crackers:
(Runs to the food dish to show me it is empty) "Meeeowww!"

Interviewer:
So I guess you would like me to give you some food...any particular kind?

Crackers:
(Rubbing across my legs impatiently) "Mrrrrrrrrrr Meow"

Interviewer:
OK I'll give you this flavor.  Hopefully it suits your finicky taste. (I spoon the stinky food into the bowl)

Crackers:
(Takes a big sniff of the food and looks up in disapproval.  No words, "the look" is all I get.)

Interviewer:
You know that is all you are getting, eat it or go hungry.

Crackers:
(Still trying for more food, rubbing on my legs) "Mrrrrr Meowww!"

Interviewer:
Nope that is it.

Crackers:
(Stops rubbing around, realizes this is all she is getting, and starts picking at the food)

An hour later I hear her yowling and look over just in time to see her puking up the food on the living room carpet.  As she licks the last bit of nastiness from her face she looks at me..."Meow."

My Conversation with The Fat One

So The Fat One has an attitude.  She really won't take no for an answer.  Look at her...you can tell. 

The Fat One on jumps up on the coffee table and sits there staring at me:
Me: "What?"
Fat One: "Mewwww!"
Me: "I'm busy. Just stay over there."
Fat One emphatically "Meeeewwwww!"
The Fat One climbs onto the couch and sits next to me.
Fat One in softer voice "Meeow!"
Me: "Really?  I said I was busy." 
Fat One sounding annoyed: "Mew!!!"
She climbs across my lap and lays there purring.  I tolerate it until she starts clawing me.
Me: "Ouch!" and I push her away.
Fat One, really annoyed loudly "Meeewwwww!"
She crawls back onto my legs.
Fat One, sounding very content "mew."

Ok, she might not know words, but she certainly does communicate. You can tell by how she says it what she means.  And yes, I know I just had a conversation with a cat...nobody else heard me so it's ok. 

Talk to the Animals

So one thing I never understood was people who talk to cats or dogs.  I don't mean like calling them or telling them to go outside... I mean actually having a conversation with them.  My girlfriend will talk to them, ask if they're hungry, what they want to eat, and even what's going on.  The cats seem to talk back.  They meow on cue and seem to answer everything that is asked.  I just thought this was ridiculous, but I did catch myself asking the cat if she wanted to go outside and if she was hungry.  She did look at me and answer...not that I understood what she meowed.  I think she was just surprised that I talked to her.

I'm not the Only One...

For anyone looking down on my because I didn't immediately love and accept cats, there are plenty of other people who had to learn to accept them as well.  

There is this lady...
"I had never been a cat lover. Honestly? Not even a cat liker."


How Do People Become Cat Converts?




Then there is this girl:  Learning to Love the Common Cat : "My name is Jana and I am a recovering Cat Hater. I come from a long line of cat-haters, and honestly, cat hating was all I knew growing up."




Learning to Love the Common Cat





And so I am not alone.  If you need help learning to live with cats...there are even websites offering guidance for us cat haters forced to live with cats:

Learning to Love Your Partners Cat

Loud Licker...

She has to lay next to me to lick herself...loud!

Evening at Home

So this is how it starts...

Then if I ignore her she will bite my arm...

 Next she starts touching me...

Eventually this is what happens...

She will stay on my lap until I move her off. 

The White One

The other cat that lives here is Crackers, aka Crack Baby, or The White One.  She is crossed-eyed and has extra toes and she meows constantly.  She is named Crackers because she was found outside of a crack house in California.

She is the main shitter.  If a shit has wrecked the house, it most likely was her.  She also meows constantly like she is carrying on a conversation. She is the one that I find on my side of the bed constantly.  I come home and the sheets are covered with her hair.

. 

She also comes when you call or whistle for her.  She will sit if you tell her to, and will go lay down somewhere if you tell her. She is kind of like a dog in that respect.  That gives her a few points too so I don't completely hate this one

The Fat One

So there are two cats that actually live with us.  There is Weezy who is known as The Fat One.  Well, it's pretty easy to see why...

She has perfected the art of laying around.  If you see her, she is either eating or sleeping.  She has The Life!

She is a pretty nice cat who had a rough start in life.  Someone tossed her in a dumpster when she was a kitten; she was really skinny and had no hair.  You would never know it to look at her today. She is also very sweet.  She loves people and will do anything to be touching them, even if it is just a toe.

I don't completely hate this one...she is growing on me a bit. 

10 Reasons Why Cats Annoy Me

10 Reasons Why Cats Annoy Me:

 Their Kitty Litter- Smells up the entire house. I have changed my children’s diapers and they never even came close to this smell.  Even the foulest baby shit smelled like roses compared to the cats.

Their Food- now I know why their shit stinks so much

They puke…anywhere the feeling hits them.  They have started the puke process on the hard kitchen floor, then moved to the carpet…

They announce their puke.  They howl and make ungodly demonic sounds before they puke.  It is like they are coughing up some evil spirit from the depths of hell. 

Hairballs.  Not even sure what these are, but they are disgusting.

Hair.  They shed everywhere.  I find their hair on all of my clothes, even the ones that have just come out of the dryer. 

They choose to sit next to me, or on the table in front of me when they lick their butts.  They go to great efforts to lick their butts and show me everything that is happening. 

They choose to sit next to me.  At all times.  They will crawl on my lap, push themselves against me, and demand that I rub them.

They choose to sleep next to me.  If I sleep on the couch, they will walk all over me and find a comfy place to lay down on me.  I push them off, but they keep coming back.

 

They don’t understand that I don’t really like them.  They keep pushing themselves on me, trying to make me accept them…

One More! You Don't Live Here!

So we came home at night and look up and the neighbor cat is looking down at us from the window. He does a double-take to make sure it is us, and he jumps out of the window.  I laughed thinking he was saying "hey you guys are home...I'm coming over."

He promptly showed up on our back patio meowing at the door to be let in.  I told him he doesn't live here and closed the curtains.

Woke up the next morning to this...

Even More

So as if it wasn't enough that I had to deal with two cats in the house...a new one appeared at the back door...

It seems he lives somewhere near us and I guess he likes one of the cats that lives here.  I see them hanging out together.  Two cats is enough...

Cats in the House

As the weeks go on I realize how much these cats own this house.  I come home and they are sleeping on my side of the bed, they are all over the furniture, and one of them has even scratched a hole in the back of my chair. 

I come downstairs and if it isn’t the smell of kitty  litter, it is the cat food stinking up the whole downstairs portion of the house. 

I’m not sure if I will ever get used to this.

First weeks

So last April I decided to move in with my girlfriend and her two cats.  Yes really…two cats in the house.  I have never liked having animals in the house. I have always viewed them as stinky, dirty, smelly things.  I really didn’t want them around me, on my furniture, and I didn’t want to touch them.  But well…they were her cats and they had been with her for fourteen years, so I figured they would probably die soon anyway. 

My first week in the house, the cats seemed to be drawn to me.  How do they recognize the person who doesn’t want to be around them and why do they want to sit on them?  I pushed them away, I moved them off of me…but they still kept coming back. 

And there are cleanliness issues.  Those cats can totally pollute an entire house with their shit.  I have walked downstairs only to be hit with a smell so foul it made me gag…running to open windows and doors and spray half a can of deodorizer.  Oh and puke.  Apparently old cats puke.  A lot.  Food that didn’t settle well, grass, pieces of plants, and hairballs.  Hairballs?  WTF is this?  A log of hair puked out onto the floor, the coffee table, the furniture…wherever is available.  Nasty. 

And fur everywhere!  These beasts shed all over the furniture, my clothes, the floor…I am pretty sure the walls are covered with it.  I use a lint roller every day, and still find hair on me. 

But, they are her cats and for some inexplicable reason she is attached to them.  I will deal with them for now…and like I said, they will most likely die soon anyway.